I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
