a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize