why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
