I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
