Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Terrible idea I love it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
