okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
