the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My nipple is on Facebook.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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