week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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