He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize