2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
