As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
