I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
