I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
