my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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