Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
