Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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