Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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