My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
