Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
