i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
