mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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