quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dick very happy bro
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
