Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
