So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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