..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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