I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
