nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I checked into jail on foursquare
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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