Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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