making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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