You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
