just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
