Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
