Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
