I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
