he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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