I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
