You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
