Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
