we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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