It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
