wakey wakey hands off snakey
I've blown a few things in my day
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
