He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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