sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You were trust falling into bushes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
