i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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