just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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