i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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