you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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