if i died would you start the facebook group?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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