I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
