Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize