dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
we're so committed to being not committed
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