Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
