Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
