Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
