Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
