I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
