SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have post one night stand depression
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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