i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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