Christians are straight up FREAKS
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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