My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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